Protector and Ultimate Decision Maker

Thinking in terms of archetypes is a quick and easy way to figure out how we are doing in life. With archetypes in mind, we can analyze things with ease, and we don't have to invent ways to improve things. It's all laid out intuitively. By comparing ourselves with archetypes, we see where things may be lacking, and what we may do to improve things.

The king and queen archetypes can be used in this way with respect to relationships. They have a perfect arrangement between themselves. The queen is the king's partner, supporter and administrator of the household, and the king is the queen's partner, protector and ultimate decision maker. This provides stability that allows them to maintain and build wealth, a family and a legacy.

All we have to do in order to conjure up this insight is to mention the archetypes, and we can immediately point to aspects of our relationships that may be lacking. The man in the household may too eager to please and to willing to let the wife take big decisions for him. The wife may be too fond of herself and too quick to complain. There may be all sorts of things that aren't very kingly or queenly, and this should be dealt with and fixed.

Key to fixing a waning relationship is for each to start acting more in tune with their respective archetypes, and much of this can be done without direct confrontation. The man that's too eager to bend to the woman's whims can firm up his act without informing her first. The woman who's too submissive can start acting more like a queen and a partner. She can point out that chores should be shared equally. If the man cannot provide servants, then the two must act as partners in dealing with everyday things in the house.

Keeping archetypes in mind makes it easier for us to fix things. However, that only works in a relationship if both accept the legitimacy of the archetypes, and many women revolt against the idea that the man should be the ultimate decision maker. Such a rule seems fundamentally misogynous? Why shouldn't women have this role?

The answer to this is that an ultimate decision may turn out to be wrong, and the consequences of this may invoke the need to protect, and that is also the role of the husband. He is not merely the ultimate decision maker. He is the protector, and must therefore have the right to veto things that may get the household in trouble. This has nothing to do with misogyny. It's merely a recognition of the world's harsh realities. This is how women are protected and why they have the privilege of being whimsical and emotional. Good men provide a framework of stability and vision. Good women act within this framework, and this is all done as a partnership between equals, exactly as suggested by the archetypes.

Constance and William

Av Gustav Borgen – Norsk Folkemuseum: image no. NFB.49970, via digitaltmuseum.no., Offentlig eiendom, Lenke