Visitors from Lisbon

My wife has three brothers. One of them lives in Paris, one in Porto and one in Lisbon. None of them are very successful, and I would classify the one in Lisbon as poor. If it wasn't for the fact that he has a wife with a modest income, he would have to live from state subsidies which are anything but generous in Portugal.

His story is typical for people who find themselves down and out in their mid sixties. He had a period of relative success during his thirties and forties, but failed to put aside much from his windfall. Once his luck changed, he had too little money to get by. He had to sell his apartment and other assets, which rendered him penniless before his sixties birthday.

This means that he can't afford a hotel when he visits his home town Porto. He comes knocking at his sister's door instead. He camps out in our spare bedroom, together with his wife and five year old son.

My wife's apartment isn't very large, but we're able to squeeze them in. They're nice people, so I don't mind having them over for a few days every now and again, and my son is positively delighted to have his cousin over. However, the plague has complicated things; at least in principle.

My brother in law is a big vaccine enthusiast. Once vaccinated, he called my wife several times to convince her to take it too. The peer pressure was so severe that my wife would have taken the shot had I not put my foot down. As a consequence, I'm now my wife's hero and at the same time the big villain in the eyes of my wife's vaccine enthusiastic family.

This leads to some strange situations; mostly in the lead up to their visits. My brother in law calls my wife, lamenting the difficulties related to the fact that we don't have the same vaccine status. This is something that occupies his mind, day and night. However, once he knocks at our door, none of this is any longer mentioned. He's not even wearing his mask, despite his paranoia.

My wife and I respond in kind. We don't mention the virus with a word. As far as we're concerned, cough it is over.

Our refusal to make a fuss has the effect of making everybody less fearful. We focus on other things, and it's as if the virus never existed. With fear and anxiety out of the way, we're able to resume our old ways, which goes to prove that love really is the opposite of fear.

Porto view of Douro