My Autistic Friend

This year's celebratory lunch on May 17 was eventful for several reasons beyond the business aspect mentioned earlier. Everybody were in an upbeat mood. There was a sense of enthusiasm that I associate with the word love. People weren't holding back. No-one tried to make themselves seem important. We were having fun, and I'm sure I'm not the only one that left satisfied, with a warm feeling towards everybody, and the sense of security that comes with the knowledge that there are at least some people out there who'd care enough to give me a helping hand if something unforeseen should happen.

But one of us was not like everybody else. The notorious opinion machine was there, and he was as full of himself as I had feared. However, he was quick to reveal the reason for his uber-eccentric ways. The very first thing he told me as we met was that he was autistic, and that this was a handicap that had earned him a fixed income from the Norwegian state in the way of a pension. Then he asked me what sort of pension I was on, and I was lost for words. For some reason, I found it difficult to tell him the truth, that I'm living off of capital income, also from Norway.

The man had a strange theatrical way of talking, and the subject matter was always centred around his person. He asked me what political party I thought he was a member of, and I earned his praise for guessing correctly. The man was a caricature of the typical member of that party, so it wasn't hard to guess.

Next up was an obscure story about some connection between him and the last king of Egypt. The man droned on about how he was in a way the rightful heir to the throne of Egypt. But it was just as well that he wasn't the king at the moment. The price on his head would be enormous, and he didn't like the idea of living in constant fear of assassination.

The man simply never stopped talking. One thing after another came up, always about him and his party, and his friends. If anyone started a different conversation, he broke in with a personal angle to whatever was discussed.

At one point, he mentioned his status as a single man, and he told us that he hoped to remain single, God willing! One of the ladies replied that she thought him likely to succeed in his ambition. My Christian friend, also single, wasn't so sure. It depends on the girl, he opined. Then he smiled cheekily to one of the single ladies at the table.

None of this registered with our autistic friend. We could say the most outrageous things and kid around with all sorts of subtle hints and dual meanings, and it would fly by him. His presence became something of an entertaining sideshow to what everybody else were talking about. He would drone on and on. But we soon realized that we didn't have to give him more than half an ear, and we could respond with pretty much anything to keep him believing we cared about any of it. However, we're now stuck with a bit of a problem.

How do we get together in the future without having this guy either isolated or ignored? The man thinks he has found a great bunch of friends here in Porto. He's an all right person. But he's autistic. He's also painfully narrow minded. It's impossible to say anything even slightly controversial without him reacting with some personal opinion. So how do we include him in future gatherings without having him spoil everything?

Celebrating May 17