Parental Coaching

I'm a firm believer in the idea that there's a natural order to all things, and that the key to success is to live according to this order. I have also lived long enough to have noticed a change in the way I experience time, and that this has affected my thinking. I've gone from being an impatient doer to a patient planner. I've become distinctly strategic in my thinking.

This I believe to be the natural arch of our lives. We start out full of energy and lust for action, and we end up cautiously planning for the future. This is so universal that it is reflected in religion and in the structure of traditional society. The elders and heads of households are in charge of law and order. They are also the ones deciding on what the family or tribe as a whole should invest their resources into.

This arrangement is that of a medieval court, with the king and the queen in charge, and their princes and princesses acting out the advice handed down to them. In this, there is of course a great deal of liberty and autonomy given to the younger generation. However, when it comes to strategic positioning, they are as a rule best off following the advice of their parents.

Unfortunately, this natural order of things has been much corrupted over the last century. The progressive idea of our time has been to replace parental wisdom with expert advice, and a lot of people have taken the bate. Many have handed over control of their children to the state.

The result of this is that many miss out on the joys and rewards associated with parental coaching. The parents don't accumulate insights into how things work, because they have no intention on giving advice. The children don't listen to their parents because they have nothing valuable to say.

But not everybody has embraced the progressive idea. There are plenty of people still arranging their lives according to the traditional format, my wife and myself being two of them. We may have partially embraced the progressive idea in the past, but we have by now thoroughly rejected it. We are the heads of our household, and we see ourselves as our children's primary coaches.

This approach is panning out in an interesting and exciting way for my stepdaughter who my wife has given advice related to her education and career planning. My wife's daughter has studied to become an actress, and she has had some acting jobs in the years since her graduation. But the jobs are infrequent and unreliable, so my wife suggested that she take a course to become an interpreter so that she can follow two parallel career paths.

This turned out to be good advice. My stepdaughter had no trouble doing the occasional acting job while studying at the same time. Instead of going for a low paying job at the side, my stepdaughter acquired a valuable skill for which there is a lot of demand.

This type of coaching could only have come from someone who knows my stepdaughter well, because interpreter skills are not a given. An "expert" career adviser would most likely have suggested something different, like serving at tables.

It would also have been difficult to get this done if it wasn't for the relatively good economy of our household. If it wasn't for my wife's insights into the various talents of her daughter, and the relative strength of our combined finances, my stepdaughter wouldn't have done as well as she did. She might also have been too stressed and tired to get the acting job that she recently managed to find.

The relative safety and calm of our household has helped my stepdaughter get a part in a film project that holds some promise of success. The cast includes at least one famous name, so we're talking about a serious project, and my stepdaughter has been asked to set off several days for the job, so her part cannot be all that minor.

This might mean that my stepdaughter will soon make enough money to live on her own, and save some money for herself. That will in turn open up for more coaching. My wife and I will give advice on how to manage her savings, and what to look for in a flat. My stepdaughter can in this way focus her energy on her career in the safe knowledge that she's acting within the framework of a strategic plan.

Scouting for opportunities