The 5th Empire - Lying to the Taxman

It all started with me realizing that the taxman doesn't really know anything about anybody. Small errors and omissions in my favor would therefore go undetected. If by chance, such errors would be detected, I could always claim ignorance, which is a reasonable defense for a layman like me. Adding up the pros and cons, it seemed reasonable to me to follow this strategy.

Not reporting changes in my private life was part of this strategy. The last thing I ever informed the taxman about was my move from Norway to Portugal back in 2006. I did not report my marriage in 2011, nor the birth of my youngest son later that same year. But I did up the lying by quite a bit. I constructed an elaborate story in which all sorts of expenses and loans ate up all my income and net worth. With zero net worth and zero income, I was no longer paying taxes.

However, the taxman kept increasing the rates. By 2015, I was forced to up my lying once again, and this turned out to be the drop that made the cup overflow. I got my first stern warning from the taxman in 2016, asking me to document my loans and expenses or pay my full due of taxes. I sent a reply, but it did not convince the taxman. They wanted more documentation.

At this point, I would have had to go all in on my story, which would have been both risky and tedious. I had no appetite for this, so I made a drastic change of plans. Instead of replying, I would no longer respond to anything. I would pay whatever they demanded as long as I had properties that they could lay their hands on. I would not protest. Instead, I would transfer all of my belongings to others. My shares would go to my three adult children in Norway. I would sell my house. The cash from the sale would go to Portugal where it would be used to pay off all debt on my wife's apartment. The rest would be kept as cash and gold, all registered and held in the name of my wife and our young boy.

The process was exhausting and brutal. I was hit by a deep depression and angst. But I managed to carry the plan through. The house was sold early 2017. The money came in during the spring. Everything got transferred and registered as planned.

Then, early 2018, I got the first letter demanding money for the sale of my house. The claim amounted to the entire inflation adjusted profit made on the house. I was only to keep the principal. The profit was for the taxman. However, with nothing any longer registered in my name, I could safely ignore the claim. They could at most arrest me and put me in jail. But to do this, they would have to send someone over to my address in Portugal. They would have to send me to Norway. They would have to put me on trial. Then, they would have to pay for my stay in jail. It would cost them a lot of money, and there would be nothing for them in the end. It seemed a reasonable risk to take, considering that the difference between complying and ignoring them was a whopping 1500 grams of gold.

After an initial barrage of threatening letters from the taxman, all went quiet. Nothing happened. It was almost as if they had forgotten me. This lasted until yesterday when I got a registered letter in the mail, containing another stern warning that I intend to ignore.

Hoping for the best

By Evan-Amos - Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, Link