I trust bankers about as much as I trust government bureaucrats. First and foremost, they follow government rules and regulations, then they serve themselves, and finally they'll take care of me and my needs. Seen in this perspective, keeping valuables in a safety deposit box is about as safe as keeping them with the state. Everything is safe and sound until the law changes against us, and we're suddenly without access to our own valuables. I had a safety deposit box for a while, and I didn't like it. There was always this creepy feeling that something could go seriously wrong, and with both the bankers and the state between me and my valuables, I felt positively exposed.
Beyond this, I'm not going to tell anyone where we keep our valuables today. All that I'll say is that if anyone enters our apartment and trashes it completely in search of valuables, they won't find anything. The valuables are either not in our apartment, or so well hidden that no-one finds it even after hours of searching. That's much longer than a typical burglar feels comfortable roaming around in an apartment, especially one in a building full of neighbours who keep an eye out for each other. Furthermore, I have no trouble smashing in the skull of an intruder with a frying pan or other blunt instrument. The burglar runs a very real risk of being carried out of our apartment with his feet first.
Even the completely insane scenario of someone coming into our apartment with a gun, demanding our valuables at gunpoint, won't work. The answer to such a person is that the valuables aren't in our house. They are hidden in a box underneath a loose floorboard, in the attic of my wife's mother's house out in the country. We'll have to go for a walk, and ounce out in the street, I'll call attention to the situation.
I very much doubt that there's anyone willing to take this kind of risk in order to get hold of a very uncertain amount of valuables, especially since there are a couple of PCs and a TV readily available for the burglar to steal.
Apart from my wife and I, there's only one other person who knows where the valuables are stored. That's a relative in Norway, two thousand miles away from where we live, and this person is not prone to talk about secrets. This person knows about the valuables in case there's an accident and both my wife and I die. Had I trusted this person less, I would have left instructions in an envelope, only to be opened in case of our death. That would make it easier for the trusted relative to keep the secret.
When valuables are used as security for a loan internal to the family, the loan provider and the security provider both know where the security is stored. That may be at a third person's place, in which case a total of three people know the location. Assuming that none of them are stupid enough to talk about it, three remains the grand total of knowing heads.
With this all said and done, there's this link for inspiration as to where to hide valuables. Deception and inaccessibility are keywords. Think in terms of lofts and basements, sheds and boxes of knick knack. Remember that a small fortune can be hidden in a box less than a litre. Even a small place has plenty of nooks and corners for such a small volume to completely disappear into its surroundings.
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