My Tao - Ego

Both Erik and Idar fell victim to their own egos. Greed and vanity combined into a toxic mix that made them do things they must have understood to be hopelessly irresponsible. However, it's a mistake to conclude from this that our ego is our enemy. Rather, ego must be seen as as a force that we must tame and learn to use to our advantage.

First thing to recognize is that ego is as much a part of us as an arm or a leg. It cannot be removed or suppressed without grave danger. This is because ego is the part of us that prompts us to act. Without it we would become empty shells, easily manipulated into subservience to others.

The problem with ego is not its existence but its childish nature. It's always looking for immediate gratifications, attention and admiration. Ego loves to be stoked and nurtured, and resents any kind of obstacle or difficulty in obtaining such goodies.

Left unchecked, ego will spur us onto impulsive behavior. It will blind us to reality. It will constantly tell us that we are special, that we are entitled, that we are smart and lucky and very much deserving of all the riches in the world. It will make us angry and envious of other people's success, and it will never rest. No matter how successful we become, ego will always want more.

An untamed ego opens the way for a life in perpetual misery. Ego's impulsive nature will put us eternally at the brink of disaster. Always hungry for more, and always convinced of imminent success, an untamed ego will make us take on way more risk than we should. Yet, no amount of success will ever make us happy, and disaster is virtually guaranteed at some point.

A well tamed ego, on the other hand, forms the backbone of lasting success. What separates Tao masters from miserable opportunists is not a lack of ego. Rather, it's about quality. Tao masters show a great deal of discipline and restraint. They know when to engage their ego, and when to keep it at bay.

Ego knows what we want, and acts in this way as our compass. It will eagerly tell us what we "deserve" in life. It is therefore essential to engage ego in a structured "conversation" early in any enterprise. We must force ego to enumerate its desires. Let it lay out a vision of the future, complete with material and immaterial goals. Such visions should come with pictures and images of all kinds. A single postcard image of a sunset over a sandy beach will not do. A proper vision has to be detailed. It has to reflect who we really are.

I'm personally an introvert and not much of a materialist. I like the idea of a nice big house. But my material longings stop at that. I mostly desire a happy family life with a loving wife and healthy children. Beyond that, I desire plenty of freedom to do whatever I want to do. I have absolutely no desire for colleagues or office work. My desire for social success beyond a happy family is limited to a wish to be seen as clever and wise. By and large, I just want to be left alone.

Other people are miserable without a wide social circle. Others again love the idea of fancy cars, fine furniture, clothes etc. That's all fine. There's nothing wrong in being a materialist or a social creature. We are all different. We all have our particular sets of desires. The key to success is not to suppress or ignore any of this. There's no happiness in being a monk, unless that's precisely what we want. What we need for success is awareness, and a plan to go with that awareness.

Our plan must in turn be predicated on an understanding of natural forces and society at large. Otherwise, we're ill equipped to position ourselves correctly in the great scheme of things. Without knowledge, we have no way to know when to bank our profits. Furthermore, we must show discipline. Once we catch a current, we must keep a steady hand on the wheel of our ship. While doing this, we must suppress any childish impulse to cash out early or take on additional risk. Ego must be kept firmly under control, because ego is not a strategic thinker. Ego is a dreamer. Its proper role is to create visions of success. However, ego should never be let in charge of our ship. For that we have reason, prudence and wisdom.

By primaire [1] et secondaire (Wikipédia anglais) [2], Public Domain, Link