On the other hand, a good spouse can be a valuable asset, and the very backbone of our success.
Yet, in these confused times, very few men know what a good wife is. Anyone tolerably sexy will do. If you're rich, you can afford an even sexier one. That's about the depth of the wisdom circulating these days.
But choosing a wife is about much more than just finding a sexy woman who's fun to be with. It is about future success as well.
In addition to being sexy and fun, a good wife is a constructive and independent woman. She is thrifty and concerned about money matters. She listens to her husband. She speaks freely about her opinions, but lets him do what he considers best for himself.
A healthy relationship is always between two independent people. The wife is the queen and the man is the king. They own their own stuff. They rule their respective domains. They do not interfere in each other's businesses. They cooperate and share their opinions. That's it.
The idea that one has to make the other happy in order to be a good spouse is wrong. No one can make another person happy. All we can do, is to be supportive of the other. Apart from that, happiness is something that each has to make for him or herself.
The idea that blind passion and the feeling of being inseparable from one another is a great starting point for a lasting relationship is nothing but a popular myth. Such feelings are usually due to some deep seated insecurity and desire to meddle in other people's life. It's a huge mistake to think that such feelings can form the foundation of a healthy relationship.
The focus on passion and romantic materialism, so predominant in popular culture, is confusing people. We are constantly told that passions have to be high all the time, and that materialism in the form of luxuries of all kinds are the true ways to happiness, and it is making us all miserable. Try to live that way, and poverty and misery will ensue. We are not made to live such hectic lives, nor do anyone but the super rich have the means to pursue such misery.
The man who marries a woman with the idea that he will make her happy through romance and materialism will almost certainly fail. On the other hand, a man that marries a strong, independent woman, who's goal is to make herself happy through a relationship with a man who she will support as a friend and a mistress, will find success and happiness.
A clear separation of domains, and a genuine desire to cooperate rather than meddle in each other's affairs forms the foundation from which a long and happy relationship can grow.
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